Posts tagged Weight Loss

Weight Loss Program

A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the

fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing

he sees is an advertisement for a “guaranteed” weight loss program.

“Guaranteed like heck” he thinks to himself. “But let’s see what

they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes

to the 3 day, 10 pound weight loss program. The next day there

comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands

before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in

nothing but a pair of Nike’s and a sign hanging around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss

company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”

Well without a second thought he takes off after her like a shot

(who wouldn’t). A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he

finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are

through, he thinks to himself with a nod, “I like the way this

company does business.”

For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing

happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure

enough he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat

slender physique, not to mention the method of “treatment”, he

calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 pound

weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5

days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their “workout”

schedule might be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he

answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing

but a pair of Reebok’s and a sign around her neck. She is simply

stunning the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces

herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign

reads “If you can catch me, you can have me. ”

He’s out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and

it takes a while to catch her. But when he does it is worth every

cramp and wheeze. He is really looking forward to the next four

days….For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same

thing happens each time, much to his delight.

On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievable, he has lost

another 20lb pounds. “I love this company,” he thinks to himself,

I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!

Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and

subscribe to the company’s 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program.

“Are you sure, sir?” asks the representative on the phone. “This

is our most rigorous program.”

“Absolutely,” says he, “I love your program. I haven’t felt this

good in years!”

The next day there is a knock at his door and he enthusiastically

answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen

of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around

his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight

loss company. The sign reads,

“If I can catch you, I can have you.”

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