A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the
fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing
he sees is an advertisement for a “guaranteed” weight loss program.
“Guaranteed like heck” he thinks to himself. “But let’s see what
they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes
to the 3 day, 10 pound weight loss program. The next day there
comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands
before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in
nothing but a pair of Nike’s and a sign hanging around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss
company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”
Well without a second thought he takes off after her like a shot
(who wouldn’t). A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he
finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are
through, he thinks to himself with a nod, “I like the way this
company does business.”
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing
happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure
enough he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat
slender physique, not to mention the method of “treatment”, he
calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 pound
weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5
days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their “workout”
schedule might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he
answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing
but a pair of Reebok’s and a sign around her neck. She is simply
stunning the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign
reads “If you can catch me, you can have me. ”
He’s out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and
it takes a while to catch her. But when he does it is worth every
cramp and wheeze. He is really looking forward to the next four
days….For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same
thing happens each time, much to his delight.
On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievable, he has lost
another 20lb pounds. “I love this company,” he thinks to himself,
I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and
subscribe to the company’s 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program.
“Are you sure, sir?” asks the representative on the phone. “This
is our most rigorous program.”
“Absolutely,” says he, “I love your program. I haven’t felt this
good in years!”
The next day there is a knock at his door and he enthusiastically
answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen
of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around
his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight
loss company. The sign reads,
“If I can catch you, I can have you.”
Jokes Blog 