Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes


Dirty Definition: HEARSAY : What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


Dirty Yo Momma Jokes

Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


Her Dirty Mouth

It seems that Polly the parrot had a particularly dirty mouth, even for a parrot.This caused her owner no end of embarrassment. Oftentimes one of her friends would say something and Polly would exclaim, “Horseshit!”

She was mortified over the things Polly said, particularly when she would take the Lord’s name in vain, which she did pretty regularly.

Finally, she put her foot down after listening to his bad language once too often.

She said, “Polly, I’ve done everything I know to break you of this awful, dirty language you insist on using. I’m going to try one last thing. The next time you say a swear word, I’m going to lock you up in the freezer as a punishment.”

To this Polly said, “No shit?”

Into the freezer she went. Twenty minutes later, Polly’s owner got her out of the freezer and said, “There, I hope you’ve learned your lesson! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Polly, blue and shivering, asked, “Just what the Hell did that turkey say?”


Dirty Mind Quiz

I challenge you NOT to think dirty.All of the answers in this quiz are NOT obscene or dirty in any way.

VOCABULARY TEST FOR THE DIRTY MINDED:

1) What is a 4-letter word that ends in “k” & means the same as intercourse?

2) What is it that a cow has 4 of & a woman has only 2 of?

3) What can you find in a man’s pants that is about 6 inches long, has a head on it, & that women love so much that they often blow it?

4) What word starts with “f” & ends with “u-c-k”?

5) Name 5 words that are each 4 letters long, end in “u-n-t” one of which is a word for a woman?

6) What does a dog do that you can step into?

7) What 4 letter word begins with “f” & ends with “k”, & if you can’t get one you can use your hands?

8) What is hard, 6 inches long, has 2 nuts & can make a girl fat?

9) What 4 letter word ends in “i-t” & is found on the bottom of birdcages?

10) What is it that all men have one of; it’s longer on some men then on others; the pope doesn’t use his; & a man gives it to his wife after they are married?

ANSWERS

1) TALK
2) LEGS
3) A 20 DOLLAR BILL
4) FIRETRUCK
5) BUNT, HUNT, RUNT, PUNT, AUNT
6) PANTS
7) FORK
8) ALMOND JOY CANDY BAR
9) GRIT
10) LAST NAME

YOU PEOPLE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING!!


Experts

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help.The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he’d wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt.

Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones.

“Hello, there,” said the motorist. “Say, I’ve changed a lot of tires ….. maybe I can help here.”

“You sure can,” the man with the flat tire replied wearily. “My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I will concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done.”


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