Funny Blonde jokes
Dumb Blonde jokes
Q. How many blonde jokes are there?
A. Only one. All of the others are true stories!
Blondes in Public worksTwo blonde girls were working for the city public works department.One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole-digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don’t get it — why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team.
But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”
Blonde Commuter Joke
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city by train and her husband noticed she was looking a little tired.
He asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”
“Not really,” she replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”
“Poor dear,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”
“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”
Some women are BLONDE on their Mother’s side, some are blonde from their Father’s side – she is from Peroxide.
Blonde in the Supermarket
A man goes into a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde who waves at him as says “hello”. He’s rather surprised, because he can’t place where he met her.So, he says “Do you know me?”To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my children.”
He thinks back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made out with all of my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?”
Looking red-faced, wide-eyed and shocked the woman replies, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”
Dumb Blonde Jokes
She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” – She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
Top 10 Blonde Science Fair Projects10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous?9) Is lighter fluid flammable?
8) What hurts more falling off a building, or a cliff?
7) Are knives sharp?
6) Can sharks hurt a human?
5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?
4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?
3) Can I eat broken glass and live?
2) Can dogs talk?
1) Are blondes really dumb?
The Blonde Helicopter Pilot JokeA blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter.
The instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes, and he could instruct her via radio. So up the blonde went.
She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was going smoothly.
At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out.
“What happened?” the instructor asked. “All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?”
“Well,” began the blonde, “I got cold. So I turned off the ceiling fan.”
BLONDES READ BLONDE JOKES REAL SLOWA Blonde And A Brunette Are Running A Ranch Together. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $800 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. “It’s the only one I’ve got for $799, take it or leave it.” She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, “I’d like to send a telegram to my friend that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer.”
The man behind the counter tells her, “Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $.75 per word.”
She thinks about it for a moment and decides. “I’d like to send one word, please.”
“And what word would that be?” inquires the man.
“Comfortable.” replies the brunette.
The man asks, “I’m sorry miss, but how is your friend gonna understand this telegram?”
The brunette replies, “My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow…”